Begrudging God's Generosity

I was challenged this week by a passage I came to in my study of Matthew. The story is the parable of the Laborers in the Vineyard in Matthew 20.1-16.  The words of Jesus in verse 15 really stopped me in my tracks…

“Am I not allowed to do what I choose with what belongs to me? Or do you begrudge my generosity?”

I was recently confronted again with my current status as a single.  Yet another acquaintance was saved from the ranks of single women and I was left wondering, questioning, judging, and even crying a little.  My temptation is to tell you all the details surrounding this situation and reasons why I think it may not be God’s timing or His best and so on.  But I know that in reality that would just be my attempt at justifying my own sin. First and foremost my sin is idolatry, desiring something, ANYTHING above God. Second, and what this verse spoke to, is begrudging God’s generosity.

In this passage the laborers could not even be thankful for their own wage because they were so angry others, who did less work than they, received the same wage.  How often do I, do we, become ungrateful laborers for our Lord because we are so concerned over what others receive? How many times do I begrudge God’s generosity in other’s lives? Do I become bitter when single friends get into a relationship? What about those of you who want children and see others not considering the blessing of their own children? What about when others are blessed financially and I am struggling? Do I begrudge God’s blessings on others ministry when I am not seeing fruit? When I begin to really reflect on this particular sin, I am pierced by how often I begrudge God’s generosity in others lives.

The ESV Study Bible says it so well…”A disciple of Jesus should not measure his or her worth by comparing it with the accomplishments and sacrifices of others, but should focus on serving from a heart of gratitude in response to God’s grace…God’s generosity is more abundant than anyone would expect: all the laborers except the very first go more than they deserved.”

I cannot, we must not, compare our blessings with that of others. Instead look at how abundantly God has poured out his generosity.

Thank you Father for your ABUNDANT generosity. You have given me far more than I deserve. Forgive me for begrudging your generosity in the lives of others. Forgive me for not finding my joy in you and recognizing ALL my desire is fulfilled only in you.